“Shia LaBeouf” by Rob Cantor… Now THAT Is Epic!

When a simple gag is done with such professionalism it becomes a work of epic proportions … “Shia LaBeouf” Live by Rob Cantor.

I didn’t know who Rob Cantor was, until now. I’ve watched a couple of his works, this and “29 Celebrity Impressions“, and they’re funny but with a serious twist. He’s a freakin’ genius! Shia, his last name seems so hard to pronounce and spell … like Nichole from the Pussycat Dolls, is a seemingly unlikely topic for an epic song. Rob Cantor’s narration conjures images of Vincent Price’s intro in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”.

The live performance, which features The Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles, The West L.A. Children’s Choir, and The Argus Quartet, is nothing less than excellent! I like how cool the base guitarist looks, like the models in Robert Palmer’s “Simply Irresistible”, well the orchestra and choir all kinda look cool like they can’t be bothered. lol Great interpretative dance choreography … check out the four ladies’ stalking walk (1:08), ha! #stealing_it_club_dance_moves. ;)  Great narrative, great build-up, great climax, … and a cheeky touch in the end with no other than … (cough). Breathing heavily. He can’t take it. lol

Check it out! Enjoy!

“Shia LaBeouf”
by Rob Cantor

You’re walking in the woods.
There’s no one around and your phone is dead.
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him (Shia LaBeouf).
He’s following you about thirty feet back.
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint.
He’s gaining on you (Shia LaBeouf).
You’re looking for your car but you’re all turned around.
He’s almost upon you now, and you can see.
There’s blood on his face.
My God, there’s blood everywhere!

Running for your life from Shia LaBeouf.
He’s brandishing a knife, it’s Shia LaBeouf.
Lurking in the shadows.
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf)
Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf)
Eating all the bodies.
Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf.

Now it’s dark, and you seem to have lost him.
But you’re hopelessly lost yourself.
Stranded with a murderer.
You creep silently through the underbrush.
Aha! In the distance, a small cottage with a light on — hope!
You move stealthily toward it…
But your leg! Ah! It’s caught in a bear trap!

Gnawing off your leg (quiet, quiet)
Limping to the cottage (quiet, quiet)
Now you’re on the doorstep.
Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf.
Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf)
But he doesn’t hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf)
You’re sneaking up behind him.
Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf.
Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf.
Stab it in his kidney.
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf.

You limp into the dark woods.
Blood oozing from your stump leg.
You’ve beaten Shia LaBeouf.

Wait! He isn’t dead! (Shia surprise)
There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes.
But you can do Jiu Jitsu.
Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf.
Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf.
You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf.
But blood is draining fast from your stump leg.
He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left.
You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck.
You’re chopping off his head now.
You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf.

His head topples to the floor, expressionless.
You fall to your knees and catch your breath.
You’re finally safe from Shia LaBeouf.

 

Source: New Now Next, thanks guys!

 

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