Today Is Murphy’s Law Day

“Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.”— Murphy’s Law

 

I woke up 4:30am, prepared myself some toasted bagel w/ creme cheese, and made some coffee. I set my coffee and plate on the table. As I sat down, the bagel got stuck on my bathrobe.
Me: Ok (calm).
I got in the usual 5:15am. Tried to clock in, *machine unresponsive*.
Me: Ok (calm).
Finally I got a prompt, signed in, system, “Updating… please do not turn off…”
Me: Ok (calm).
Ten minutes later, display still crawling… then it restarted automatically … all my session from yesterday, lost.
Me: Ok (calm).
I looked for another machine, signed in, clocked in… time: 6:25am.
Me: Ok (calm).
Finally, my workstation was up… screen.. empty… 2wks worth of analysis… gone. Opened my mailbox. First email… URGENT Operations: “Hey, your scripts stopped sending reports.”
Me: Ok (calm).
Coworker playing music, volume was so low but I can still hear it.
Me: Ok (calm).
Loud construction noise on the floor above mine, as part of our renovation project. They’re drilling concrete.
Me: Ok (calm).
Then another email, Quality Control, “Hey, our sister company in Saskatchewan sent incomplete stats again.”
Me: Ok (calm).
I decided to wash the disappointment off my face. Walked to the men’s room, door sign, “Out of order.”
Me: Ok (calm).
So I decided to have breakfast instead. Prepped my Oatmeal, stick it in the microwave, keyed in time… punched in time, “Microwave is out of order, sorry”, cafeteria lady caller out to me.
Me: Ok (calm).
I dumped the mixture in the garbage and walked to the counter to get Starbucks coffee. Grabbed a cup, reached for the thermos, she said, “No medium roast, Holiday roast only.”
Me: Ok (calm).
I poured a little & sniffed it, and it smells like shit. So I dumped it and got hot water instead.
Walked back to my cubicle. Then, I was about to run my report recovery before business users start their work… I tried to connect to the server, “Connection not available.”
Me: Ok (calm).
Called the technical guy to see what’s up. Busy… busy… on hold. I left a message, hangup.
Me: Ok (calm).
Continued checking my mailbox, URGENT: Business: “We haven’t received the reports for today yet. Please give us an update ASAP.”
Me: Ok (calm).
Was about to email them when phone rang. Tech guy, “Hey, your server crashed after our security guy pushed an update. It somehow broke it. I can’t restore it. Sorry.”
Me: Ok (calm).
Rolled up my sleeves and did manual labor. Oh look at the time… 1:12pm.
Me: *Pack up my stuff* *clock out* *left* (calm)

… moral of today’s mess …

“Life is so much easier if you don’t give a fuck about shit.”—Me

And so I was on my way home, my usual shortcut to Highway 1 was a parking lot. Sidewalk construction on North Bound Gilmore St. constricted the busy two-lane street into one.
Me: Ok (calm).
After entering the freeway 20 minutes later, I said to myself, “No jogging. Just stay home. You don’t want to die today.” I got home, changed, turned on the TV, and decided to prepare a small snack. So I sliced a couple of small bread with a jagged knife… and accidentally cut my palm.
Me: Ok (calm).

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So I realize, it’s not just work… it’s the whole day. I normally don’t cut myself slicing bread, nor have I cut myself in decades for that matter, … it’s just today. It’s like the movie “Final Destination.” The cut on my palm is about half an inch, but I’m not going to go to the clinic to have it stitched. No, I might fall and die going there.

So I’m just gonna sit here until midnight… and hopefully survive this cursed day without any further incident… thank you. *middle finger*

 

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